At This Moment
by SweetDulcinea
Summary: FGB story for aRedi, prompted by Michael Buble's cover of "At This Moment" - It's the people we love the most who can truly break our hearts. How do we cope with that guilt? How do we move forward?


**A/N: All recognizable characters, elements, products, and songs are property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended. This little bit of fiction is mine.**

**This one-shot is my thank you to aRedi for her generous donation to Alex's Lemonade Stand through the New Moon Fandom Gives Back auction. The prompt was Michael Buble's cover of the song "At This Moment"**

**If you enjoy this, be sure to thank the lovely aRedi!**

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"We need to talk."

Nothing good has ever come of those words in a relationship, and this time was no exception. Based on the uneasy look in his eyes, he understood that.

This shouldn't have been a surprise; things hadn't been great between us in a while. They were good - they had always been good - but they weren't _great_, and that mattered to me.

The entire situation was complicated - from the way we began to the reason we were about to end.

It felt like we had known each other forever. Our friendship had begun around middle school, but like most kids, friendships fluctuated and changed. There was never anything more beyond it. We went to different colleges and saw each other throughout the years, but it wasn't until we ended up int he same city that anything developed. The casual friendship we had maintained from our childhood developed into something closer with our new proximity. Other high school and college friends dispersed, but we remained and grew even closer.

I had begun to suspect that his feelings were different from mine about six months after we started spending time together. For me, it just wasn't there. I dated other guys, and occasionally, he would have short stints with other women.

Around my twenty-fourth birthday, something shifted. His endless sweet gestures, the willingness to listen to me talk about absolutely anything, and his beautiful, passionate eyes finally got to me. I paid closer attention to him, and I realized that I could feel something for him as well if I opened my heart to it.

Things seemed to progress naturally from there. We complemented each other well, and even though I didn't think it was some Hollywood blockbuster romance, we worked, and I loved him. Despite all the time we spent together, we retained our own apartments. I had been rooming with some old college friends, and he lived with a cousin; it worked out well, so we didn't change it. That was part of the ease of our relationship that I loved. There wasn't pressure to be more than what we were or rush things.

"We need to talk?" he asked, repeating my request.

"Yes," I confirmed, looking at him with sad eyes. He had to understand what was coming, and that made me feel worse somehow.

He stepped toward me, reaching for my hand, but I wouldn't grant it. Not this time.

"Just tell me."

Glancing up into his familiar, loving eyes, my heart broke a little.

"I can't do this anymore," I admitted. I choked out the words I knew would crush him. "I can't be with you."

He didn't speak, so I was forced to continue.

"I'm so sorry," I said, and it was true. Even though it probably seemed like a pointless phrase, it was honest. I couldn't bear the thought of lying to him about something like this.

He stepped back, falling toward the couch until he was sitting, still staring at me. "Please just get this over with. I can't take it. Please."

I took a deep breath. "I met someone else."

He stared at me, his face now cold and hard, and that crushed me. He was so beautiful, but right now, I knew he didn't want me to think of him that way.

"What's his name?"

"Don't make me say it."

"His name!"

"No!" I protested, taking a step back and watching his tall body slump in defeat.

I wasn't sure when I fell out of love with him, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I now felt was a worthwhile reason to leave my comfort zone and my familiar relationship. For a few moments, I cowered back at the sight of his tightly clenched fists and the glare he shot toward me, but when he met my eyes, he softened.

"Do you really think I could hurt you, Bella? Never," he said desperately. "I would give anything to keep you with me."

"I...I..."

"Don't say anything else, please. It will only make it worse. You just look like you're afraid I'll hit you or something, and I hate that you think I could _ever_ do something like that. I would never hurt you."

When I felt the warm tears running down my cheeks, I realized that I had been crying. "I'm sorry," I whispered, but he simply shook his head.

"Sorry isn't enough this time. I'd subtract years from my life if it meant you'd stay, but I know that's useless. Please just go."

_Defeat. _

His voice screamed of it, and it was my fault. I had broken my best friend.

I grabbed my purse and bag, darting for the door and sobbing as I made my escape. I couldn't believe that I was capable of hurting him so much, but this was not something I could help. I had always cared for him, but that just wasn't enough. Even though I knew it hurt him, he _did_ deserve to know the truth about why I was leaving. In the long run, it would be better for him than finding out from someone else.

//A.T.M.\\

As guilty as it made me feel at times, my life had been good since everything changed. I had gone to his apartment a couple weeks later when I knew for certain he would be at work, and I gathered all my belongings that had been left there over the course of our relationship. At the same time, I dropped a box at the foot of his bed that included items he had given me over the course of our life together. It was strange being there and accepting that it was no longer my place any more, so I made my visit as short as possible.

Once that was taken care of, things seemed to go extremely well. I had my new love, and it was so much more than I had ever imagined. Honestly, he was incredibly understanding and enthusiastic about helping me move forward, and I accepted everything he offered me happily.

There were days when the negative feelings washed over me, but I did my best to hide it or at least mask them. It was strange to no longer have him around after knowing him for nearly our entire lives, but it was something I had to deal with. I had made my choice, and truth be told, I wouldn't change that, but that didn't mean living with it and the knowledge of how I had crushed my dear friend were any easier.

"What's the matter, Bella?" my wonderful, darling, amazing fiancé asked one Sunday morning as I sulked on the fire escape of my apartment. Yes, fiancé. We had only been together five months, but when you know, you just know.

"Nothing," I hedged. "Don't worry about it."

"You're thinking about him?" he asked, and though he was probably entitled, there was no anger or frustration in his voice. He had been incredibly patient and understanding with me, which had honestly made everything so much easier. But no matter how happy we were, these days still came. Especially days like today.

"I'm sorry, Sweetness," I offered, frowning at myself. "It's just...I realized this morning that it's the anniversary of the day his mom died. It's sort of seared into my mind, you know?"

He sat down beside me, flattening the blanket beneath us as he hung his legs over the edge of the fire escape. He folded his arms over the bar, laying his cheek on them and looking at me. The sun peeked through the clouds, highlighting his hair that really need a trim and making him look even more tempting. "You should call him."

Surprised, I sat up and gaped at him. "Excuse me?"

"Bella, if it was the other way around, don't you think it would mean a lot to you to hear from him?"

I pondered over his reasoning for a moment, and as much as I didn't want to deal with that truth, he made a very good point. I had been there for years on this day, and for all I knew, there may not have been anyone to comfort him today.

"I'm not sure I can," I admitted, and I could feel the tension building in my chest and head. I was going to cry. God, I didn't want to cry right now. "I mean, it would just be so weird. We haven't talked in months, and I don't want to make things worse, especially not today."

Without hesitation, I was wrapped in the arms of my lover, and his touch was instant relief.

"It's just a phone call. If you'd like, I can sit with you, hold your hand. Whatever you need, Bella."

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks, and we sat in silence for a while. It was going to be a beautiful day, but that didn't feel right. I inwardly wanted the weather to match my mood.

"Let's go inside. It's still early." He offered his hand, and I took it, thankful for the love of such a wonderful man.

"Can we lie down for a little while? I'd just like...I just need you to hold me, okay?"

I curled into his open arms in my bed, and it was like coming home. Every time was that way. His fingers brushed through my hair, massaging my temple and providing endless comfort that I gladly accepted. I snuggled closer, closing my eyes and thinking about how we met. That always helped.

I had been wearing the most horrible pair of wedge-heeled shoes that my sister had forced upon me. She claimed they were supposed to be easier to walk in than regular heels, but I begged to differ. My ankles wobbled with each step, and I mentally cursed her as I descended the stairs in the library. My eyes were so focused on my feet as I walked down that I didn't notice the man who had come around the corner just as I reached the bottom step. I ran straight into him, toppling forward on the cursed shoes. Luckily, he caught me before I could fall on my face, but my ankle still twisted at an awkward angle, leaving it throbbing in pain.

"Are you okay?" he had asked, and when I finally looked up at his face, my skin burning with embarrassment, I was shocked. He was a local celebrity of sorts - the newscaster on our city's _NBC_ affiliate.

With his assistance, I returned to my small office, and he ran to a fast food restaurant near the library to retrieve a bag of ice for my injured ankle. He sat with me for over an hour talking. Thankfully, the other library staff covered for me while I nursed my wounds.

He was just...amazing. Our conversation flowed as though we had known each other for years, and I mentally chastised myself for how starstruck I was on the inside. It wasn't as though he was a famous actor or singer, but it was sort of surreal sitting in my office with the man I had watched on the nightly news for the past few years. I wouldn't call it anything as silly as love at first sight, but I had a crush after our first conversation. For a month straight, he came into the library nearly every day. Considering that I was working, I wasn't able to socialize with him as much as our first meeting, but I helped him find books, and we fit in small conversations and discussion of literature during those visits. I was surprised by how much of an avid reader he was, and I also found it incredibly attractive. What could I say? A handsome man who had a nerdy side? It was hot.

When he finally took a chance and asked me out for coffee, I had to come clean. I felt terrible for leading him on, but at the same time, I didn't want to scare him off by admitting that I had been planning to end my relationship. Much to my relief, he was very understanding and receptive to my word-vomit, promising that he understood my predicament and that he would do whatever I needed from him - to walk away, to only be a friend, or to wait so that we could pursue a romance together.

The rest, as they say, is history. His confession emboldened me to do what I had been putting off, and even though I hurt someone deeply in the process, my sweet man was there for me. Our romance since then had truly been like a fairytale; he swept me off my feet in every way.

I returned to reality some time later when he shifted away from me. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep until then.

"Where are you going?" I mumbled, tugging his shirt so that he wouldn't go away.

"Sorry," he whispered, kissing my forehead. "You fell asleep and I needed to use the bathroom. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I should make that call."

I sat up on the bed, crossing my legs and shaking the sleep haze out of my head. My phone was on the bedside table, so I picked it up and found the number. It was still in there, just in case I ever needed it, and today was definitely one of those days. As I pushed the send button and held it to my ear, my sweetness returned, sitting against the headboard and pulling my back against his chest. Wrapped up in him, I knew I could do this.

"_Bella?_"

"Umm, yeah, it's me," I said nervously. "How...how are you doing today? I know it's...well, I remembered what today is."

_"Yeah, it is," _he said softly, and I could hear the obvious sadness in his voice. _"I actually just got back from the cemetery. Planted a new rose bush."_

The line was silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

_"Thank you for calling, Bella. Really. It means a lot."_

"Oh, it's no problem. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today," I admitted, hoping he didn't take it the wrong way. I didn't want my call to cause him more pain than I already had, especially not today.

He sighed into the phone, and I waited for whatever he was preparing to say. I recognized that sound, and I knew it meant he was collecting his thoughts. _"I appreciate it, and I'm glad you called. Can I be honest with you about something?"_

"Sure."

_"I saw you not that long ago." _My breath caught in my throat, but I didn't interrupt him. I was too shocked to say anything. _"You were with him. I didn't realize... Well, I didn't have any way of knowing who he was, but I recognized him right away, you know? Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm glad you're happy, Bella. No matter what, you deserve it. And I could see how you felt about him. That smile you had for him was like when we were kids. You just seemed really happy and young and, like, radiant. So I'm glad because if you weren't happy, I think it would actually be harder for me."_

For a minute, I was unable to speak. My mind tossed his words around, repeating them in my head and allowing their weight and meaning to sink in fully. Though there was a forlorn hint to his tone, he was genuine. He understood my life now - and presumably my reason for leaving - and he wasn't angry or bitter over it. I felt a hint of shame for having hurt such a selfless man, but I reminded myself that he said he was _happy_ for us. That meant the world to me.

"Oh Jacob!" I sobbed, and once more tears streamed over my cheeks. "I can't even begin to tell you... Just, thank you."

_"It's nothing, Bella. Just keep being happy, all right? And thank you for calling today. I think I needed to hear your voice."_

"Bye," I whispered as the arms that held me wrapped tighter around my waist, giving me a loving squeeze.

The line disconnected, and I turned in my love's arms, shifting onto my knees.

"Did you hear all that?" I asked, looking into his eyes. He nodded, leaning forward to press his lips to mine. I accepted the gesture gratefully, snaking my arms around his neck to draw us closer.

"I love you, Bella," he said against my mouth.

"You too, Edward. I love you so much."

//A.T.M.\\

My life was incredible.

I smiled as I watched my gorgeous husband chase our daughter around the park, circling the jungle gym and ducking under bars to get our energetic little pre-schooler. She squealed in delight as she slipped out of her daddy's clutches over and over again, and I laughed at how he played up this silly game for her. Our little April was a daddy's girl through and through. She thrived on his attention and was so much like him. Though she had my features, her hair was the same lovely bronze as his, and on a little girl, the color was even more enchanting. She had his crooked smile and every ounce of his charm as well.

"Mommy, help!" she giggle-shrieked, running circles around the bench where I sat. Laughing, I pressed one of my hands onto the seat and hoisted myself up, wobbling to find my balance with my big, round belly. April's brother would be joining our family in just a few weeks, and I felt ready to explode. "Help!" she repeated, so when Edward passed me, I winked and grabbed a hold of his arm. He pretended to struggle against me as she shot off toward the swingsets.

"Do you need to sit back down?" he asked me as we watched her hop onto a swing. I shook my head and leaned into him.

"No, it feels good to stand for a minute. He's got one foot jammed under my ribs while he sits on my bladder, so it's probably better that I stand anyway," I laughed.

Edward turned to face me, kneeling down in front of my protruding tummy and rubbing his hands around it. "Hey there, little guy. Give Mama a break. She's been very good to you these past eight months." Just like magic, the baby rolled and I felt relief under my ribs.

"How do you do that?" I asked, shaking my head at him. "I've been begging him to move all day."

He stood, keeping his hands on me to comfort me with his soothing touch. Smiling, he kissed me, and I sighed happily. "It's a gift. Probably the same thing that snagged his mommy."

"Sweet talker," I teased, and he rewarded me with another kiss. The baby kicked, happily, I assumed.

"Mommy! Daddy! Watch this!" April called, so we turned toward her as she showed us how she could pump her legs by herself on the swing.

"You're doing great!" Edward called back. I blew her a kiss.

"We're so blessed," I sighed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a couple coming our direction with a stroller, and I glanced at them.

"Jake!" I blurted in surprise.

It was him. With his fingers wrapped around the handles of a fancy jogging stroller and a beautiful, tall, dark-haired woman at his side. He smiled widely when he saw me, turning the stroller toward us.

"Hey! Bella, how are you?"

"A little bloated, but I'm great," I said, and as he leaned toward me for a hug, I found myself returning the gesture without hesitation. Seeing him after all this time, I thought it might be awkward or strange, but it wasn't at all.

"You look amazing," he smiled. "Is this your first?"

"Oh, no!" I said, pointing toward the swings. "That's our little girl over there. By the way, this is my husband Edward. Edward, this is Jacob."

The men extended their hands and shook them, giving each other a silent nod of understanding. Jacob had told me years ago that he saw me with Edward, and Edward had seen pictures of Jacob. The woman with him was a stranger, though.

"It's really great to meet you," Jacob said. "This is my wife, Vanessa. Honey, this is Bella and Edward, of course."

We smiled and shook hands as well, and I leaned toward their stroller, hands on my belly as I peered at their baby. Swaddled in a light blue blanket was a tiny little boy who couldn't have been more than two months old.

"And who is this handsome guy?" I asked, smiling at the new parents. They both beamed proudly, glancing down at their son.

"Will," Vanessa told me.

"We named him after my dad," Jacob added. "We didn't want to confuse anyone by calling him Bill or Billy, though."

"Aww, that's so sweet," I said. "I'm sure you're dad was touched."

They confirmed my thoughts, and the four of us stood together making small talk for a while. I learned that they had just been married a litle over a year ago, and Vanessa's pregnancy had obviously occurred shortly after the wedding. They had been living in a house nearby since then. We had only recently moved to this part of town, buying a bigger place before our second child was born.

April ran over eventually, practically tackling Edward as he scooped her up off the ground. She laughed and snuggled into his side, hiding her face when she noticed the strangers we were speaking to.

"Hey, baby girl, can you say hello to our friends?" I prompted her. "This is my friend Jacob and his wife Vanessa. Do you see baby Will there? Your baby brother is going to be just about that size when he's born."

Curiously, she withdrew herself from Edward and slid down to the ground. We all grinned as she took a few steps toward the stroller and tentatively peeked at the baby.

"He's awake!" she whisper-shouted, glancing around at all of us with big, excited eyes. Laughter filled the air around us.

Vanessa carefully lifted Will out of the stroller, allowing April to get a good look at him.

"May I?" I asked, gesturing toward the baby. Vanessa passed him over carefully, handling him in that trademark way that new parents always do. "He's beautiful, Jake." I looked at Vanessa as well. "Congratulations."

They smiled and thanked me, and just then, I felt a little tug on my pants.

"Mama, can I hold the baby?"

I glanced at Jacob and his wife for their approval and they nodded. Edward sat April on the bench, then helped me sit before going to her other side. Sandwiched between us, I carefully placed the little boy in her waiting arms, watching with my hands extended as a safety net in case she slipped.

"Hey little baby," she cooed at him. "I'm gonna have a brudder just like you soon."

Edward laughed softly, and I looked up at Jacob for a moment. Our eyes met, and I was overcome with joy for the pride I saw there. My lips pursed for a moment as we looked at one another, and then I smiled. He nodded in acknowledgement, wrapping his arm around Vanessa's waist.

"Hey, would you guys like to join us for lunch?" Edward asked suddenly. "We're heading over to the deli to grab something when we're done here. You guys could catch up."

I watched as Jacob's lower lip extended in a slight pout. "We'd love to, but we actually have plans with my in-laws in about twenty minutes. Another time, though?"

"That would be great," I replied, motioning for Edward to take baby Will from April and return him to his parents.

We exchanged a few goodbyes and our phone numbers, and before we left, Jacob leaned down to give me one more hug. "I'm _so_ happy for you," I whispered in his ear, and he squeezed me firmly.

"You too, Bella."

As they walked away, Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. "How you doing?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

"Great, actually," I admitted. "That was nice. It was good to see him, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that. He seems really nice, and even though I don't know him beyond what you've told me, I think things are different now. They both seemed very comfortable around you."

"They did," I nodded, feeling relieved. "Funny how life works out, isn't it?"

"It is, but I'll never regret meeting you. We have a beautiful family, Love."

"Thank you, Sweetness."

As we walked out of the park, the three of us holding hands in a little line, I thanked God or fate or whatever it was that had given me Edward and also helped Jacob find his true love and happiness. After all these years, that look of heartbreak that I had seen on Jacob's face when I left him was finally wiped away, replaced with his joyful smile as he looked at his wife and son.

Life was indeed good...for all of us.

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**I will be participating in the next FGB auction, and my threads will include original one-shots, outtakes, and a collab with my darling MsKathy. More details to come.**


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